The rain that doesn't fall

** Skip this part, its just random mind blogging **
Have you guys had one of those days when you are just crying inside, but the tears won't come out?

The days when you really just want to break free from all the chains, from all the burdens and be free from this world?

I had one of those days. It was awesome spending time with people and also watching a movie with a great friend of mine. But how much do these things mean to me? There is a QUESTION that runs through my mind over and over again. "Jin, Do you really love the sheep?"

If I really did love the sheep, then my actions will also prove it. Remember its whats INSIDE that will come OUTSIDE. So if I really do love my neighbors, my brothers, my sisters... my neighbors, then clearly my actions will show it.

I was getting a haircut today and the girl that was cutting my hair today was gorgeous, remarkably beautiful and outstanding at her profession. Immediately as I walked through the door, the girl appears and asks "What can I do for you today?" And I responded, "I need a haircut. Really badly!" And she IMMEDIATELY got me seated and got ready to cut my hair. But before she cut it, she says "Before I start cutting your hair, can I see your tattoo?" And I said sure, and I explained it to her and it was just remarkable on how great God's creation could be! I'm not saying she was PERFECT at everything. But as she was cutting my hair, I was thinking to myself "I won't be able to cut people's hair... I wonder how strong her passion is for her job?"

And very honestly speaking, she had a lot of passion for her profession. And I was amazed at her zeal for it. So we talked about some stuff to kill time and it worked. After I was done, she was like saying "Its kinda nice being alone and just cutting someones hair."

And when I started to wonder, what does she do on her free time besides work? What do I do on my free time besides study/work/EPIC/hang out/sleep/spend time with God/etc. What do I do?

I soon came home, took a shower and I realized that what I love is what I love, I can't help it nor can I ignore it. That would just be foolish of me to just think that everything is just emotions and part of my mind.

Sometimes the HEART does things that YOU don't want it to do, sometimes YOU do things that your HEART doesn't want you to do as well.

I'm trying to understand why we all want to WORK towards something, that we have to GAIN something. Honestly when I think about it, I see myself WORKING my knees to the point where I am dry, like a twig ready to be thrown into a furnace.

-----------------------

The great news of this time is that no matter how far I run, no matter how hard I work, no matter how much I gain, it will never give me salvation! Why is this a good news you ask? Good question, its because salvation is given for free, its given through grace. Its given through something thats called GRACE. And that my friend is THE TRUTH!

Yeah, we don't understand it. Yeah, we don't feel like we need when we are doing good. But what about those times when you're in trouble? When you're alone? When you're weeping and crying from pain?

What about those times when we want someone near, someone close, someone to cling onto and hug. To hold. To keep warm. To hold hands with? The times when we desire love? The times when we desire friendship? Why do we desire these things, especially when we have so many things, like clothes, money, houses, laptops, computers?

Its because the things we have "worked" for is nothing but temporary happiness, temporary joy. Temporary passion/zeal. How come PEOPLE keep on desiring something more and more? Its because they desire TRUE LOVE, TRUE GRACE, TRUE TRUTH, TRUE SALVATION, TRUE JOY, TRUE HAPPINESS, TRUE GOOD, TRUE AMAZEMENT, TRUE MANIFESTATION. And if you think you can work for it, that you can "gain" it through your works, you got the wrong idea!

Its already given through the manifestation of the TRUE ONE. The One that IS TRUE LOVE! God Himself! Yeah i don't understand it, but I do know that I need TRUE LOVE in my life, otherwise I wouldn't seek it out in girls, in people, in relationships. Those that don't think they need/want love in their lives are just fooling themselves. Then why do you have friends? Then why do you want to be in a relationship with a girl or a guy? Why do people get married?!

Its because they all desire that intimacy, that amazing intimacy that is offered in TRUE LOVE!

Those that want this kind of love, speak up, raise your hand, now is the time to receive. You can't work for it, you can't earn it or anything.

What son earns to be a son? What son works to be a son? The son is born a son, therefore he is a son. What daughter earns to be a daughter? What daughter works to be a daughter? The daughter is born a daughter, therefore the she is a daughter.

Foolish is the man that thinks he can earn and work for love. Instead wise is the man that knows that love is what is flowing through his works! Which produce good deeds, that even the wicked people will enjoy doing!

When you look at your heart, when you see yourself, your own spirit ask yourself this question, "AM I who I am? Or AM I who you are?"

Blessed are those that search themselves daily, that examine themselves daily and look at themselves with the eyes of Christ and see what Christ sees.