Illusions

Have you ever heard a person say "I love that illusion"? I have.

Its interesting how illusions work, they deceive your eyes, your thoughts, almost to the point where you see something else. Something different.

The Oxford dictionary on the Mac defines illusion as a deceptive appearance or impression.

Now that's interesting definition. A deceptive appearance or impression. Honestly I ask myself right now, "Jin are you just an illusion?" Or "Is your appearance and your impression deceiving people right now as I write this?"

I look into the mirror of truth and it tells me that "You are you, they are they, he is he, and she is she. Look harder, what do you see?" Or something like that.

What is this impression anyways, what is this appearance?... "Different" you say? Doesn't everyone have their difference? Can the difference of the person really tell you who they truly are? I don't think it can. Does it define the person? I don't think it can.

Is your impression, your appearance an illusion as well? An illusion to me? To your friends? To the world?...

Your friend might say "Comon, be real with me." And you respond, "I am real." Or your friends might assume what they know of you is true. Surely they might think that, but is what you are truly real? I don't know, cause I'm not you. You know in your heart what you truly show and what you truly WANT to show.

How many times have I deceived you by smiling and laughing at everything? Maybe once too many. Can I truly see whats going on in me? I probably can, but I sometimes refuse to look at it, cause I like to see these illusions. These strips of reality, these different forms of nature. What brings about this desire? Maybe acceptance, maybe comfort, maybe its just what I desire... or maybe its just that its fun to act this way, who knows...

But there is a black hole in the middle of this illusion, it sucks in anything, everything, and never spits it back out. Why? Because the amount of POWER the illusion has, the amount it will radiate to others, causing others to fall into that illusion as well. Sooner or later, how can you trust anyone near you? Around you? In front of you?.... "I am with you, don't worry. You can trust me." I can say this too, very easily in fact, but I can say it to the point where I don't mean it at all. When I say this, does it sound like it has meaning or does it feel fake to you? What causes this type of typing, what causes this type of doubt. Can you truly trust a person that used people, that back stabbed people, that took revenge on people?

"I can... no problem for me." What is going to happen if THIS happens to you? Can you truly trust again? Or will you be more careful, more secure, more suspicious to trust another.

What you see now, is it real or is it an illusion? Is it reality or a fantasy? Does it seem real? If so, is it truly real, or is it what you just want to think or want to feel. What causes people to see the world differently than others? What causes people's desires to become toxic and twisted?

Why does it seem like to one person its not a big problem, but to others its a BIG problem?... Just as the moon has two faces, do I have two faces? What if the face I have been wearing hasn't been me all this time? What brings about the real face, what truly makes it all one face in the end?

Am I a monster? Am I a freak? Or am I simply messed up and twisted?

Birds with broken wings, can they truly fly again? When do those wings heal? Do they ever? What if its been forcefully cut off? Where there is a blood trail wherever you go... Do I even wish to fly anymore? Do I even wish to soar in the sky, above the clouds, with no worries, no doubts of me falling, cause these wings can support me? Do they even support me? Does confusion lead to more confusion, or does it simply mean there isn't a answer to it yet.

What am I? Human? Sinner? Violator? Destroyer? Or simply a boy, a man?
What is this air that I breathe, what is this thick cloud of muggy air? Is it just cause of my lungs? Or is it really something around me, bringing about this smog, this smoke that creates a wall between reality and illusion.

Is the mirror truly reflecting me? I hear "You're okay. You're decent. You're alright. You're good." Why is it that when I hear this, I hear another voice say, "Liar..." Why does this voice sound so familiar? What is this battlefield, this pool of blood and dead bodies floating underneath me?

Am I in the past? Am I in the present? Or is it mixed to the point where I'm stuck in the middle of past, present, and future?

Can all these illusions bring ONE THING to reality? Just like 100 pennies make a dollar, can 100 illusions make one thing real? Can 1000 illusions? 1 million? Who knows.... [don't care].


"I know you, you're different. I know you are." How can you say this even if you don't see what is truly here in front of you? How can I see you as well? "You're not the same as yesterday, cause today is a different day." Today is a different day? Really? Then why does it feel like I'm redoing everything I did yesterday [a.k.a. today]?

"You can do it! I believe you!" Ha, believe me? Are you pulling my leg? I can do it? Are you ****ing me? I can't believe these words that come to pass my ears.

I give myself things, gift myself with things... why is that? I don't know. Why is everything the same? Why is everything not changing? How can I do something about this? How am I supposed to react to it? If what I see is an illusion... or is it really reality?

What I see in you, is it real? Or is it just fantasy? What breaks my mind? Is it my time? Or is it just cause I can't see the line? What brings about my fears? What brings about these tears? What I feel, is it the rain or is it the continuous beating causing pain? Are all these things just an illusion? This impression, this deception, this possession, this foundation, this ration, this passion, this confession, this progression, this manifestation, this action,.... this tension, what is it? Illusion or reality? Fake or real? Lie or truth? Hopefully this exhibition will end causing a live explosion.
------------------------------------------------------


And this is how it feels when i ignore the words you spoke to me. And this is where I lose myself when I keep running away from you. And this is who I am when, when I don't know myself anymore, and this is what I choose when it's all left up to me. Breathe your life into me, I can feel you, I'm falling... falling faster! Breathe your life into me. I still need you. I'm falling, falling.... breathe into me, breathe into me.

And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge. And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground. And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain. And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away.

Breathe your life into me, I can feel you. I'm falling... falling faster. Breathe your life into me, I still need you. I'm falling, falling... breathe into me, breathe into me, breathe into me, breathe into me....

You will find that I'm everywhere your going I'm all the places will not be. You will find that I'm everywhere your going I'm all the things you wanna be.


Can you believe this is just an illusion?